Dick Cheney's Thanksgiving

From last night's Letterman monologue: “Today the terror alert was raised to cranberry. And of course everybody loves turkey, and you have the turkey, and a lot of people will bake the turkey, a lot of people will broil the turkey, a lot of people will pan-fry the turkey, a lot of people will deep-fry the turkey, but not everybody likes to cook turkey. For example, Vice President Dick Cheney plans to have the CIA torture his.”

And the inevitable: “President Bush is back from his Asian trip, did you see the footage of him in China? He had a press conference and then he went to leave the press conference and he walked to a door and the door was locked, he couldn’t get out of the door, and he just stood there. Talk about not having an exit strategy.”